Tabanca

My name is Selina Merley Boye (she/her). I am a transcultural systemic therapist, philosopher and justice-oriented psychologist, and I run the independent practice Tabanca. I offer both in-person and remote individual, relationship and family sessions. The practice is based in Amsterdam, and sessions are available in English, Dutch and German.

My therapeutic approach is person-centered, contextual and intersectional. I see healing not as a form of doing, but as a way of being that helps us come into alignment with our most authentic selves. I believe this is also where we are able to form the deepest, most fulfilling relationships. My intention is to support you and your loved ones in finding growth in a welcoming, non-judgmental space.

If this resonates with you, feel free to reach out with any questions or to book a session.

Approach

As a psychologist and systemic therapist, I combine analytical insights with a holistic and transcultural approach. I like to understand each relationship and person within their unique cultural, social, and personal context. My intention is to help you tap into that full range of strengths and connections to support meaningful growth. I encourage you to bring loved ones, family, or friends into sessions, as their presence can often provide clarity and lead to more sustainable, integrated work. My sessions are process-oriented, focusing on helping you connect with your inner guidance, rather than offering advice or quick-fix solutions.

The therapeutic modalities I incorporate into my work include Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), Focusing, Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Internal Family Systems (IFS).

My work is rooted in core values such as intersectionality, trauma sensitivity, and consent. I intentionally welcome and support members of the queer, BIPOC, polyamorous, and non-monogamous communities, as well as those in blended or chosen family systems. The practice is queer-affirming, kink-aware, and sex work-positive.

Professionalized Experience

Undergraduate Education

  • Bachelor of Science in Psychology (TU Enschede)
  • Master of Science in Clinical Psychology (VU Amsterdam)
  • Master of Arts in Philosophy (VU Amsterdam)

Postgraduate Training

  • Transcultural Systemic Therapy (2-year program, CTTO Amsterdam)
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Focusing (EFT), Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), and Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT)
  • Theatre of the Oppressed (Aisha Tusa), Practicing Feedback as a Love Language (Ji-Youn Kim), Navigating Power Dynamics with Nonviolent Communication (Yvette Erasmus)
  • Currently following a variety of liberatory courses in psychoanalysis (P-Hole)

Associations and memberships

My work within the Dutch Mental Health Industrial Complex (MHIC) has spanned a range of settings, from providing therapy in specialized addiction care to working in small group practices focused on individuals with migration backgrounds, and supporting LGBTQIA+ youth and their family systems. Over the years, I have gained experience addressing various mental dis•ease expressions, including anxiety, depression, (intergenerational) trauma, grief, addictions and compulsions, difficulty with emotion regulation, and relationship and attachment issues.

I currently offer individual, relationship and family therapy at Tabanca, work as a psychosocial counselor at Colored Qollective and provide group psychotherapy with René Cané Molinari.

I regularly engage in intervision with colleagues, maintain a weekly practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and currently participate in supervision with transcultural systemic therapist Emmy Scheper.

A note on the Mental Health Industrial Complex (MHIC)

With professional experience and licensing comes the responsibility to acknowledge complicity in a system built on structural sanism, racism and queerphobia (among some other isms). The MHIC, to this day, continues to pathologize adaptive responses to underlying structural issues which disproportionately affect marginalized communities. Having been both educated and employed within this system, I want to acknowledge my privilege and complicity.

I am committed to un-learning and dismantling medical dominance and the rigid, harmful frameworks that continue to shape the mental health and care systems. In this journey, I closely follow, support and benefit from the activism of psychiatric survivors, mad peoples and critical care workers. While I believe therapy has important value, it is only a small piece in the puzzle of the broader landscape of holistic wellness, and well-being. Ultimately, the goal is to help (re)build stronger structures of community care and healing, where therapy plays a supporting role, but is never seen as the sole solution to systemic issues.

The Person

I understand the world from the perspective of a queer, mixed-race, middle-class-ish, currently non-disabled immigrant in her thirties. My ancestry is Ghanian-German, and as a child of the African diaspora with a family history of migration, I’ve faced the wonders, challenges, grief, and relief that come with adapting relationships to physical distance. Now based in Amsterdam, I find joy in capoeira, art, literature, mountain hikes and engaging with local societal issues.

Influences

Cherished voices influencing my path are bell hooks, Jennifer Mullan, Yvette Erasmus, Ji-Youn Kim, Tricia Hersey, Báyò Akómoláfé, adrienne maree brown, Camille Sapara Barton, Jacob Ham, Natalie Wynn, Betty Martin, Dan Savage, Carl Rogers and Charles Eisenstein, and many others who don’t sustain a public presence.

About Tabanca

Tabanca is an Afro-Caribbean term commonly used in the Creole languages of Trinidad and Tobago. It describes a profound state of melancholy or lovesickness, often stemming from unrequited love or the end of a relationship. It captures a deep longing for something or someone absent, similar to homesickness.

I encountered this term through the artwork of Afro-Carribean artist Tamara Tashna, and its meaning resonated with my desire to create a space where people can move beyond their longing for connection, finding a deeper sense of home within themselves and their relationships.